My Friend Zuber
By Rajesh Kumar Singh
He was a priest's son. He was born in Palanpur, Gujarat. He lived with Cancer as long as he could. He did not make a very big issue out of it. It was simply a problem that had to be dealt with as quietly as possible. I feel he would not have told anyone about it had he not needed a little bit of outside support becasue of his physical condition. If he was scared of death, he did not show it. All the photographs, even the smiling ones, on this page were taken after Zuber was diagnosed a Soft Tissue Sarcoma case and many had concluded that he was in the last stages of his life. He was certainly worried about the pain preceding his illness and the mess it might lead to. He wanted to pass away as peacefully as possible. His nightmares were his own. He was considerate and courteous to the visitors and would introduce them to each other nicely while lying in his hospital bed at Lilawati hospital.
Zuber at Lilawati Hospital, Mumbai.
He would get irritable at times if people did not follow some of his instructions in the last stages of his sickness. He was definite about his needs. He looked like a child as he moved closer to the ultimate moment.
Zuber & Shelina
I had known Zuber since 1983. We somehow became friends. We never discussed our personal lives with each other. Would it mean we were not very close? Probably it would. I still don't know as to what really brought about his separation from his wife Shelina. He never told me about it. If Zuber went through hell, he did it alone. He must have suffered a lot of injustices in life but he never talked about it. He had no ill will towards anyone.
We always talked about larger issues. We would discuss politics, religion, spirituality, and all kind of things. We would have strong differences of opinion. But somehow, we remained friends. We could always get back to each other. He was not a management student but he loved talking about marketing and advertising. He would try to keep himself updated on whatever was happening in the world. He formed his opinions based on that. He had a very strong sense of justice. That is why he liked being a Canadian citizen. He felt that Canadian system is fair and just.
He had a major character flaw though. He could not take things to their logical conclusion. He hated dealing with mundane complexities knowing it very well that one's survival depended on them. It is perhaps normal for those who wish to dwell in the world of great ideas. He had a healthy ego, but never had 'I am first, everybody else is next' approach to life.
He was admired for his tall handsome personality by all. People were attracted to him and liked him.
He never criticized anyone in personal terms and never carried the bitterness of the moment for long.
He took care of all his needs till the end. He had also provided for his financial needs during his illness. He did not want to trouble anyone even while dying and he largely succeeded in his wish.
When he left Vancouver, his doctors had told him about his condition. He was handed over plastic bottles filled with morphine tablets that would take care of his pain. He knew all along that he was in the last stages of his life. He calmly informed me in Mumbai that he had reached the palliative care stage. There was no trace of fear or despair on his face when he said this to me. He was ready to embrace the ultimate truth.
Death was his constant companion. Finally when it came, it was like an ordinary day today event. He simply passed away. Those who felt like crying for him, cried for a while. Everything returned to normal afterwards as usual. He did not leave anything in his wake that could trouble anyone.
He did not leave behind a will or an unpaid bill. This perhaps was the most remarkable thing about his death.
Zuber in a reflective mood at Vancouver Cancer Clinic.
