Kites

The flight to global shame

Hritik Roshan thinks Indian audiences that are used to Biriyani may not like this Pasta of a film called Kites. Rakesh Roshan is smug in his belief that it is the first film with global appeal to come out of India. He will soon be making ‘Lauh Purush’ followed by ‘Avatar – the Real Thing’ with Hritik in the lead in both, all set to blow up every global box office record till date to smithereens.

They will be aided and abetted by directors and film writers like Anuraag Basu, the master craftsman, who is possessed by the ‘aatamas’ of every living and dead mainstream Hollywood filmmaker. In other words, every frame, shot composition, camera angle, sequence, scene, colour tone, and background score in his films is a contemptible recreation of the works of the gods among Hollywood helmers. He surrenders his self to them totally and unconditionally and allows their ideas to flow freely through the empty vessel of his mind.

He is a much sought-after film director for his capacity to put together an inorganic mishmash of cinematic styles, purloined stories, and ideas. In a tongue-in-cheek reference, Jeannette Catsoulis, whose review is being quoted liberally in ‘Kites’ advertisements, describes it as ‘…a finger in every genre jar’.

Anuraag Basu is a typical Bollywood ‘Filmfaker’. In fact none exemplifies this khullamkhulla term better than him. He tops the ignominious list.

Now, Reliance Big may have developed the clout to plug in a few positive-sounding reviews in foreign papers, but they are not powerful enough to sell a fake, a really bad one, to offshore film audiences by getting the trashy film reedited by Brett Ratner. And they know it. Had they been confident that the film could wow the goras and goris, they would not have soft-pedalled Ratner’s version by giving it a limited release.

One hopes that all the tall talk of Hritik boy is for the consumption of the media and he is wise enough to understand that his film is neither Pasta nor Biriyani but hog shit. If it is not so, and he actually thinks Kites is a world classic, we have a problem here. A dolt of a valuable film star and talent bodes disaster for the Indian film industry. There are too many of them around, even the ones considered the smartest of the lot.

These new-age cinema professionals (NACP) that include film stars, directors, producers, and studio executives, bond well with each other as birds of the same feather in a joyous jamboree of rootless meatheads. They make money without working hard for it, in tune with the globally prevalent economic and sociological trends.

Their education and training in cinema art and craft begins and ends with their pirated DVD librararies. You should know that the NACPs are the biggest consumers of pirated DVDs and illegal Internet downloads. However, instead of developing a true appreciation of what is good and great in world cinema classics, they follow the easier course. They catalogue the scenes and dialogues of these films and use them later to create their own remix.

It is similar to what is done by countless DJs in various pubs who mix music of different genres and musicians. For instance, if Kites has 500 shots in it, the origin of each one can be traced back to some Hollywood film or another, from Bonnie & Clyde to Road To Perdition, and Romeo & Juliet, and Thelma & Louise, etc., etc. The premise, plot, sub-plots, background score, and even the dialogues have been collated in a similar fashion. This is how almost every Bollywood film is made today by smart-ass NACPs. The problem has assumed cancerous dimensions now. It has deeply corroded the brains of the NACPs and they cannot do anything else but make fakes like Kites. They are almost brain-dead, except that they can still recognise moneymaking and survival opportunities around them.

Let us come back to Hritik Roshan, the key factor responsible for the making of this film. Reliance Big would not have paid even a paisa for it on the strength of its script had Hritik not backed the project. So what is it that made him do this film? Was it the money? He would have got it anyway for whichever proposal included his consent letter. Reliance was even willing to offer a no-strings attached ‘development’ funding to keep him engaged.

So what is it that made him say yes to the Kites project? Did he really think that the film would catapult him to global stardom just because he would be romancing a Hispanic actress? And if he really read the script, what made him feel that it offered him a golden opportunity to showcase his histrionic prowess to a global audience?

A good actor should have the ability to judge his role in a film script or a play. A known Hollywood star would have thrown the script of Kites into a trash bin after reading the first few pages for its obviously counterfeit content and premise. Every scene, shot, and characterisation in the film reeks of phoniness and lacks integrity.

The fact that Hritik did this film raises questions about his judgement and understanding of world cinema as an actor. He has the personality and presence to become an international star. However, that is not enough to achieve global success. He must do better than the existing international actors and stars in terms of the care they take in picking up a film proposal. He must expand his mental and intellectual horizon and ambition and should avoid doing a Hollywood fake like Kites.

Hritik should also study the filmography of all those stars in whose company he aspires to be in - Tom Cruise, Javier Bardem, Brad Pitt, and the rest of them. He will find an essential difference in their and his approach to selecting a film. They look at a script as an actor, and charge their fees as a star. If the script does not offer them the scope to explore new territories as an actor, it is a no go for them. That is how they build their brand, image, an international following, and a premium non-negotiable price tag.

It is just the opposite here. We have scripts designed for the star, not to showcase his acting abilities but his pectoral, and abdominal muscles, bulging biceps, and dancing skills. Idiotic directors also shoot the well-chiselled and unnaturally developed torsos of stars as if they were all brawn without brains. Why do our stars show such avidity to become puny replicas of Arnold Schwarzenegger? Imagine what would have been the state of our film industry if Dilip Kumar, Raj Kapoor, Dev Anand, Shammi Kapoor, Rajendra Kumar, Rajesh Khanna, and Amitabh Bachhan had developed the urge to have a body like Dara Singh? Even Dharmendra left Dara Singh alone to rule the brawny territory.

May be Hritik felt that he could make his global foray through a film that replicated the technical standards and narrative styles familiar to Hollywood. We also hear quite a few film critics appreciating the technical finesse of the film. They are ignoramuses, and are unaware of the fact that ‘B’ and ‘C’ grade films of the western hemisphere are better written, produced, mounted, performed, and shot than Kites. And there are hundreds and thousands of such films doing the rounds of film markets.

Let me reiterate with absolute certainty that the best of Bollywood films pale into insignificance in comparison with the films that are being made in countries like Korea, Thailand, and of course China. Their films even transcend the technical and aesthetic standards of Hollywood. So much so that Hollywood filmmakers get inspired by them and pay millions to buy their remaking rights. The whole idea of imitating Hollywood to achieve global name, fame, and success is not only demeaning, and repulsive but ridiculously impractical as well. In other words films like Kites bring us global shame.

You can sell to the world what you have. Why should anyone in New York or Moscow or Beijing or London be interested in a Hollywood fake? Why should anyone be interested in visiting a scaled down replica of Eifel Tower in New Delhi or even in Washington?

Show what you have. And you have so much to show, from Gautam, the Buddha to Kama Sutra to Ramayan, Mahabharat, and the lyrical romanticism of your films, supplemented by the touching and poignant idealism of filmi variety, further reinforced by our unique brand of dialoguebaazi that offers rare gems of memorable philosophical and cathartic wisdom to film audiences.

Why do you think these elements will not find global acceptance? Is it because you have lost the ability to make movies in your unique manner and style over years of counterfeiting Hollywood cinema and are daft enough to celebrate your pejorative branding as Bollywood? Or is it that you also, like our Prime Minister and Reliance Big, think that it is wiser to kowtow before the Americans to achieve global success? Why is it that the Chinese, the Koreans, and the Thais don't think this way yet they are doing better than you?

RKS